By Vasilisa Nesterenko | Staff Writer

A year ago, I moved to Hawai‘i. As it was my first time here, I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I was excited to learn as much as I could.

I am from Moscow, Russia. It’s about 7,000 miles from Honolulu, or roughly a 30-hour flight with 3 layovers. Essentially, my hometown is on the other side of the world. This journey challenged me in many ways, but I’m so glad I did it.

Living in Hawai‘i as a foreigner is a unique experience, both charming and surprising. In this post, you’ll see island culture through the eyes of a newcomer and maybe discover something new for yourself.

Life on Wheels

Want to get some groceries? Get in the car. Need to exercise? Be ready to steer the wheel to the closest gym. In the mood for a little walk? Get in your car and drive to the park. Compared to Russia, which has many walkable places, this switch to a driving lifestyle was a challenge for me. Especially, without a driver’s license.

In my home country, I didn’t have a car, nor did anyone in my family. At the house where I live on O‘ahu, there are five cars parked, with only four people in the family. Statistics show that in America, around 832 vehicles are owned per 1,000 people, while in Russia this number is about half as much. 

Life on wheels leads to isolation and loneliness. It is already hard to make new friends as a foreigner, but nearly impossible without driving. I feel awkward asking people to hang out, since it always comes with, “Can you pick me up?” Jane Jacobs, in “The Death and Life of Great American Cities,” warned that car-centered design not only isolates people but also creates ghettos. Walkable neighborhoods foster casual conversations, while car-dependent areas replace them with private, isolated trips.

Although public transportation is relatively good on O‘ahu, life on wheels is still a big cultural shock for me. Back in Russia, it took me only 5 minutes to walk to school, 10 to the nearest hospital, and 15 to the park. Here, cars have made this paradise island harder to get around.

“How are you?” problem

“How are you?” What an ordinary question to ask. You hear it everywhere – in a grocery store, in a parking lot, at school, at a gas station, and even in the bathroom. But it is so confusing for a Russian.

In Eastern European countries, people don’t ask each other ‘how are you’ unless they truly mean it. Nikola Ondrikova, an author at Reintech, discusses this in her article. She explains that for many Eastern Europeans, ‘how are you?’ is a “genuine question prompting dialogue”, asked with the expectation that the person is interested in the response. This contrasts with English speakers, who often use the phrase simply as a greeting, similar to saying ‘hello.’

As for me, I’m ready to give a full answer every time someone asks me how I am, including all the details about what I had for lunch and how many times my neighbor’s cat visited my porch. But while standing in line at a grocery store it can become a bit awkward.

I get especially confused when I hear people exchanging the question “How are you?” without ever answering it. For example, two friends meeting on the street may greet each other by asking “What’s up?” and never actually respond. As for me, maybe one day I’ll get the grasp of this cultural phenomenon. But for now, I just politely respond, “I’m fine, and you?”

Bird-of-paradise. (Photo by Vasilisa Nesterenko)

When paradise fights back

Hawaiian nature is charming. Swaying palm tops, ocean breeze, birds’ warbling, vibrant colors, and sunshine feel like paradise. Until a roach starts crawling on you in the middle of the night. Or even worse, a centipede. The flora and fauna of Hawai‘i is indeed stunning, but there are some things that make the paradise experience feel a bit more down-to-earth.

I remember dealing with a three-inch-long roach for the first time myself. It was only me and this huge creature in the bathroom, ready to fly right at me and, probably, kill me. But the vacuum cleaner turned out to be a very useful tool for fighting roaches. Life in Hawai‘i teaches — even paradise has its cost.

But the danger of Hawaiian nature comes not only from the land, but from the ocean too. Big waves were a big challenge for me at first. And by ‘big’ I mean anything taller than one inch, because for the first 18 years of my life in Russia I was swimming only in still water.

Seeing so many people surfing huge waves was one of my culture shocks as well. I am genuinely amazed by the power and strength of every surfer I’ve met so far. It’s still a mystery to me how they find motivation to keep going after being knocked down by a big wave. Recently, after a year spent on O‘ahu, I caught my first wave. To tell the truth, I was on a bodyboard. And the wave was less than one inch tall. But that’s my first victory over the power of the ocean.

Roosters were the last shock. As my friend told me, these guys can drive even locals crazy, not to mention a newcomer. I was sleep-deprived during my first months here because of because of roosters crowing. But waking up wasn’t the most surprising part. Seeing chickens and roosters on busy city streets was a unique experience of Hawai‘i. I used to think you either lived in a city far away from country life or surrounded yourself with animals somewhere in a village.

But Hawai‘i teaches you that opposites can coexist. And now I’m thrilled to discover more surprising parts of this beautiful island of O‘ahu.